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The Good and the Bad
Making bad experiences and focus your thoughts on the good part of life is a great start.
Tests have shown that people who went through something very bad (job loss, divorce, death of a loved one, sickness) and have met with friends going out to change the focus of their thoughts, recovered much faster from the bad experience as people who kept thinking about what had happened.
You will definitely improve if you keep being grateful for everything there is good in your life. Be happy about a sunny day. Be grateful for a good meal. Enjoy seeing beautiful plants. Greet people with a smile and you will get a smile back. Think of what makes you feel good and cheer you up such as taking a bath with a scent which is uplifting, going to get a full-body massage, going to the hairdresser and get a new haircut, buying yourself a shirt in a cheerful color or something you enjoy, meeting with a friends for happy hour and, as I explained in the previous post
Don’t see a failure as the end of the world. Rather see it as a challenge, which lets you learn and improve. If you run into another failure, you will cope with it much better and you will know how to turn it into something good. Know that all successful people have made mistakes and had failures. They have learned, made things better and became very successful.
Making bad experiences and focus your thoughts on the good part of life is not enough.
To change something you have to replace the old with something new. In some way you have to replace the bad experience with a good one. If you are bad in doing something, find out in what you are good and think what you can do with these talents and skills. When you have lost your job, it could be a chance to get a better one.
It depends on how you deal with bad things, if you will keep getting yourself into more bad situations or if you will continue your life with lots of good things to happen.
People who have gone through very bad times and had very bad experiences, who did not lose to see the positive things in life and made the bad things a challenge and learned from it, live a happy and successful life. But also people who were on the top and could not hold their position, who did not see their extraordinary success as the one in a lifetime event, but pursued new challenges, are people who see life as a whole.
Seeing life as a whole means that it includes ups and downs, big successes and failures, celebrations and every day routine, life and death, good and bad things. Life has many facets and one should look at every aspect of life and what life offers. While you lose in one aspect, you might win in another.
If you are a happy person and you have a bad experience, you of course will go through some difficult time, but it will not destroy all your happiness for all times. After some time of morning or feeling of having been hurt, you will again get happiness out of a variety of things.
Good and bad things are both part of life. You can learn from bad things and make a good thing out of it. After bad times, be open for the good part of what life offers.
Bad Experiences and How to Revocer
Bad things happen to anyone. We all have made bad experiences in our lives. For some it is the end of the world, while others recover quickly. Of course there are very bad things, such as having been in a war and watched hundreds die, some of them your friends. Having been in a concentration camp is one of the worst things to happen to someone. Still, there are people who recovered and some couldn’t take any of it, whatever happened to them.
I must mention that there are chemicals in the body, which make it easier to recover to some, but our body is a chemical factory. If you don’t have enough of those needed chemicals, you must make them. One means is running several times a week to a point when you run like automatically. This takes thirty to sixty minutes. In this article I only wanted to have mentioned the human chemistry. I want to write here about emotions and focus. Even though the result is of course also a change in your chemistry.
Stressors in life and recovery
Stressors are bad experiences such as
Loss of jobs, loss of money, loss of love, bad or lost friendships, death of friends and family, divorce, sickness of one of your loved ones or or yourself.
Or worse: Survived war, sexual molestation, famine, abusive childhoods.
You can continue this list. It can get long.
We can recover! And we can improve our lives!
What helps? The ability to connect with others, the perceptions of the world and the circumstances (in which one is or gets himself into) can help. And get up maybe several times during a lifetime, but you get up and you must get up, because there is no other way to happiness and success in life.
Emotions, especially emotions after a bad experience play their games on us, but the moment we take control everything changes. Whenever you are despaired or full of anger, think that you can change this emotions as you can control emotions through your thoughts.
Don’t blame anyone or anything for whatever bad experience you went through. Frankly, you don’t only lose time with your thoughts of blaming, but much worse, you focus your thoughts into the other side of where you want to go.
The other side is unhappiness and despair and the more you focus on your past gad experiences the worse is gets. Think back to all the bad things, which have happened to you and you couldn’t get your thoughts away from it. And there was just nothing positive coming into your way – because you didn’t let it happen. You didn’t give positive things a chance coming into your life, because you were so concentrated on thoughts of how bad you have been heart from a person or a circumstance.
There is only one person you should blame and this is yourself.
Let the past be past and get yourself into the now and prepare yourself for a better future through focusing your thoughts on improvement, on wonderful and pleasant things. Well, I speak out of experience. I know that it is not so easy and surely not done over night. You have to force your thoughts to go where you want to be in the future. The more often you do that the easier it gets.
There came one day when I asked myself when I last thought of all the bad things, which have happened in my life and I assure you, it was very bad – or did you ever walk over a couple of hundred dead bodies and looked for one specific person, but non of them were recognizable? Did you ever walk down the Champs Élysées in Paris and got beaten by a stranger out of the blue while hundreds watched, coming out with scarce on your face? I have lived several years with pain so heavily that I screamed, but no doctor wanted to have anything to do with it. I do not want to go on, as there was something happening to me and the person who did it was killed because of it!
It seemed that I drew negative things to happen to me. Today I know better! It was my focus. Many times I told stories about my “oh so very bad experiences”. Doing so I drew the next bad experience into my life. This went on and on, until broke down and the doctor, who was quickly called, said: “There is no pulse any more!” I was frightened that they would burry me alive. In the hospital a doctor said that my body can’t take all this any longer. In those days I was successful in international business. I was forced to go on vacation. But not before weeks after I thought about it, gave up my career and changed my life.
Back then Mind Movies did not exist. I began with self help books, continue to read online when the internet came out, and got into personal development. But back to what this article is about. Stop blaming others, continue living. Don’t think about what has happened, but think about what you want to happen in your life. It is your choice if you want some more bad experiences or if you want to live a happy and fulfilled life. How do you want to live? What are your wishes and desires? Find goals and get on the way to achieve them. You bring your focus from blaming others to live your life as you want.
Think of people who had even worse experiences than I or you did and continued with their lives, became successful, happy and got everything they wanted. They surely did not think of blaming anyone or anything, but thought about what they can do to continue their life. They all went forward and not backward.
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